Floating Body Parts

By Lucy Nel

Did that cause a shiver to run down your spine? If your imagination is anything like mine, gruesome images of severed hands or feet floating in the air probably exploded in your mind at a title like that.

Relax.

Take a deep breath.  Have a cup of Joe.

No gore today, folks.

The floating body parts (FBP) I’m talking about are tricky pests that sneak into our creative writing. And recently I’ve been spotting them again in my fellow writers’ works. Don’t despair. Last year, this was one of my major stumbling blocks in my own writing. Just a year ago, I had my manuscripts peppered with FBP’s. One strung after the other.  My beautiful little darlings. I was oblivious to them. I never managed to spot those invaders.  And I didn’t mind them in the least, because I was being creative.

But trust me; some people are not so lenient. I’ve seen editors’ slaughter ’em without remorse. (I’ve had an editor leave a dozen snarky comments on one of my earlier peppered-with-FBP’S-darlings-manuscripts. Ouch.) The hard truth is, we might not mind the little sweethearts, but some people in the publishing world do not find them acceptable.

In the end, we need to be able to spot those pesky FBPs and remove the outrageous ones from our writing. Show no mercy! 

Earlier this month, I had my manuscript edited by Linda(If you need an editor extraordinaire, this is the gal!), and am proud to say, I had one. Only one. And a mild one at that! So I let it slide. (Run along my cute little darlin')

Now, you’re probably anxious to find out what a floating body part is.

To put it plainly, it becomes known as a FBP when you attribute an action to a body part, (Hands, feet, eyes are normally the biggest culprits - at least in my own writing.) instead of to the character. 

Allow me to give you some examples of the ones I had in my previous manuscripts, and how I fixed them.

Then:

He leaned a massive shoulder against the door.

Now:

He leaned against the door.

Then:

His head twisted

Now:

He twisted

Then:

Her hand flew to her mouth

Now:

She covered her mouth

Then:

Her eyes searched the room

Now:

She searched the room

Then:

His fist pounded on the door

Now:

He pounded on the door

Of course there are trickier ones that are more acceptable. Sometimes you really can’t word them in a different manner. Like “She rolled her eyes” , “Raised her arms” or “Lifted his foot to inspect the sole”.

Am I saying you need to chop every FBP you have? Of course not, but some are just so outrageous, they might be too distracting to your readers. I hope you found this helpful, in the end, it’s still your decision which FBPs you want to keep, and which you’d rather cut.

Until next time,

Be blessed

~Lucy

For an amazing and hilarious example of FBPs, check out this blog!

Sarah Tipton’s parody of FBPs 

First Drafts – the love hate relationship we all need to trudge through.

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I’ve been around the writing block a couple of years. Got some of the wind knocked out of my sails a couple of times. I was fortunate enough and learned a few things along the way, too. I find the journey exhilarating and other times, overwhelming and painful. Even newbie writers can relate to those roller-coaster sensations.

My biggest dread—The First Draft. *Enter some scary horror movie tune here, please*

Here’s why, and how I keep going at it despite the love hate relationship.

And maybe, just maybe, some of my babble will convince you to persevere as well!

I’m a slow, S-L-O-W writer. Add time restraints. A full time job, a husband I adore and a wonderful almost eleven month old little tyke that I try to spend as much time with as possible. (Yup- mix in a healthy dose of guilt most working momma’s deal with because they work. Some prefer it; others have to because of obligations.) And I’m left with morsels for writing.

Now, because I’m such a slow writer with limited time to write, I would have loved to write pure gold the first time I open a brand new Word document to start something. I tend to expect that first draft to be the same quality of polished draft. It’s not. I don’t think it ever will be. And to be honest, I’m not sure it’s even humanly possible. Writing takes time, a lot of time, and it gets discouraging. And frustrating. And tiring.

My first draft is lacking. ALWAYS. Holes the size of Pluto gapes at me. Inconsistencies dust it like sprinkles on a cake. I take forever to finish. I lose hope. I panic.

I ponder about shoving it aside and think about starting something else. (Obviously convincing myself that the first draft of something else would be better. It’s NOT.) Or I polish up a piece of completed work that doesn’t need polishing – at least not from me.

I’m one of those writers that hate writing but love the idea of having something written. I moved around a bit in my late teenage years, as a result, I lost my earlier manuscripts. Let’s not go into the details. (Blushes and hangs head in shame.) But I managed to cling to two awful, but completed, hand written manuscripts, and to this day I guard them with my life. I have another three completed manuscripts on my laptop. (Of which two might never see the light.) Ah, the feeling of pure achievement when I peek at them. I seem to forget the time and tears I spend on a previous manuscript to get it into that shape.

Then, when I look at the first draft of my work in progress, the crushing reality of all the work still ahead to get this baby mature daunts the excitement. Dims the hope. My critique partners still need to slice through it, because honestly, when I don’t absolutely hate my work, I’m blind and oblivious to my own writing flaws. Writing the second, third and sometimes even a fourth draft, looms. Rewrites and personal edits lie ahead.

But, a first draft—no matter how awful, how raw you find it—is needed to produce something fine and worthy. Without it, you’ll never have anything to work with. A first draft doesn’t need to be perfect. You can improve, fix and polish it once you’ve written it.

There’s a quote by Jodi Picoult I adore, ~ “You might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.”

And when the first page of the first draft looms, the wise words of Shannon Hale ~ “I’m writing a first draft and reminding myself that I’m simply shoveling sand into a box so that later I can build castles.”

So don’t despair. Everything worthwhile takes hard work and time.

~Lucy